


Can I haz you 4 my valentine?

by RandomNobody1703



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cell Phones, Comedy, F/M, Friendship, Gay Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Memes, One True Pairing, Text Icons, Texting, The Author Regrets Nothing, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 00:39:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17777255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomNobody1703/pseuds/RandomNobody1703
Summary: Connor wants to ask Elijah to be his valentine so he asks his friends to help him out.





	Can I haz you 4 my valentine?

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I remember this happening between my friend group last year (I've changed a lot about it but you get the gist of it).
> 
> Typed this on my phone without annoying ass autocorrect so there may be some typos
> 
> Also this is a text log so ya, if it looks weird that's why.
> 
> Happy valentines day!!!!

"Should I ask Elijah out today?" -Connor

"Hell yeah!" -North

"Sure." -Josh

"I mean, if you want to." -Simon

"Go for it." -Markus

"What should I say? Should I send him this?" -Connor  -Connor

"😂😂 you can't be serious Connor 😂😂." - Josh

"I actually think it's cute." -Simon

"You're asking him out over TEXT?!" -North

"I can find you a better one, hold on" -Markus

"Markus, you're really encouraging this?!" -North

"They've had this crush on each other for years North, they need to settle it someway if they refuse to talk." -Josh

"But really, a meme tho." - Josh

"Stfu, it's adorable." -Simon

"Simon, you only think that because last year you slipped the tiniest peice of paper into Markus' jacket asking him out, and he found it a week later." -North

"😂😂 That's a lowblow North." -Josh

"Found it!" -Markus  -Markus

"And North, stop bullying my boyfriend!" -Markus

"Omg yes, I want that one." -Connor

"Connor I really don't think this is a good idea." - Josh

"Tell me how it goes :D!!" -Simon

"MARKUS, WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THIS!?" -North

"Keep your fingers crossed everyone." -Markus

"I sent it." -Connor

*10 minutes later*

"Oh boy😨😨" -North

"North shut up!" -Simon

"The fuck you say to me you little shit!" -North

"Ya'll ugly." -Josh

"Move I'm gay!" -Simon

"Can you guys stop with the memes plz?" -Markus

"Says the one who literally just had Connor send a meme to his crush." -Josh

"*eyeroll*" -Markus

"Ok, Imma pretend you did not just type out eyeroll." -North

"*face palm* Markus, why 😭" -Simon

"STOP DOING THAT!!" -North

"Ya'll are perfect for each other." -Josh

*Connor is typing...*

"Moment of truth guys." -North

"Ok so he just replied." -Connor

"Connor, don't drag this shit out, wtf did he say?" -Simon

"OMG SIMON SWORE!!" -North

"Baby nooooooo 😭. North has tainted your precious soul." -Markus

"He said yes."

"..." -Josh

"..." -Markus

"..." -Simon

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HE SAID YES!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!! OMG CONNOR GOT A NEW BOOO!! GODDAMN!" -North

"YAAAAAAASSSSSS WE GOTTA CELEBRATE AT SCHOOL TOMORROW!" -North

"North, calm your happy ass down." -Josh "SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSH. I'M BOUT TO THROW A MF PARTY!!!!" -North

"Yay :D!!! I'm so happy for you Connor!" -Simon

"I'm F'ing shaking." -Connor

"You know, if I wasn't happy as fuck right now I would be roasting you for saying F'ing. You and Simon are fucking saints." -North

"What he say exactly Connor? I just gotta ask?" -Josh

"'Sure.'" -Connor

"... no comment." -Josh

"I mean, it still means yes." -Markus

"Do you by any chance know his address?" -North

"Don't give it to her." -Josh

"JOSH I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU TALK ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!!" -North

"I didn't talk at all. We're simply texting." -Josh

"😤😤😤😤" -North

"Careful Josh, she already knows your address." -Markus

"Oh shit 😨😨" -Josh

"Markus and I are going to the movies later on, you guys should come with us." -Simon

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Won't allow it." -Markus "

"Why not 😭😭😭???" -Simon

"1. A double date would be a terrible first date. 2. You won't kiss me if Connor's there. And 3. We ain't staying for the whole movie." -Markus

"That's an unnessessary waste of money but ok." -Josh

"Markus is just tryna fuck." -North

"Figured." -Josh 

"I'm heading over to his place later but thanks for the offer Simon." -Connor

"Oh shit, Markus not the only one tryna fuck. Who's topping?" -North

"😂😂" -Simon

"Simon don't laugh, this is some serious information right here." -North

"We're just hanging out." -Connor

"Sure." -North

"Just make sure to bring some condoms when you 'hang out.'" -North

"😂😂😂😂" -Simon

"North, you're too much. 😂😂" -Josh

"He wants to show me something he's been working on. He calls it Chloe." -Connor

"Ok, just gonna slide past my joke. I feel u." -North

"To answer your question North." -Markus

"I'm pretty sure Connor's topping." -Markus

"Oh! I remember Chloe! That code he was working on a few years ago." -Simon

"He's still working on it???" -Josh

"Ig." -Connor

"What? Is he making a robot? It's only a fucking code, how long is he gonna work on it." -North

"Perhaps. But I'll find out later 😁." -Connor

"Sup biiiiiiitttcccchhhh." -Simon

"????" -Markus

"U feeling ok?" -Josh

"Sorry. Daniel took my phone." -Simon

"He's annoying the crap outta me." -Simon

"Have Ziggy attack him." -North

"Ziggy would do no such thing!!!" -Simon

"He protec, but he also attac." -North

"Simon's dog won't protect shit, I've snuck into his house so many fucking times." -Markus

"I feel personally attacked rn." -Simon

"😂😂" -Josh

"Ziggy is such a cutie though, you gotta love him." -Josh

"Looks don't count when it comes to dogs. I need me a dog that's gonna bite the shit out of you." -North

"#1 reason why you don't own a dog." -Josh

"😤 That's it! Josh I'm coming over to beat that ass." -North

*Burn_Them_All has left the chat*

"What I'm tryna understand is how this turned from me and Elijah to Ziggy." -Connor

"Can we all just go on our dates and enjoy valentines day?" -Simon

"😨 She's actually here." -Josh

"See, Josh has North, I have Simon, and Connor has Elijah, perfect." -Markus

"SHE HAS A FUCKING BAT!!" -Josh

"..." -Simon

"..." -Connor

"..." -Markus

*Big_Dick_Energy has left the chat*

*Connor_Anderson has left the chat*

"Good luck I guess 😄." -Simon

*Simon_The_Cinnomon_Roll has left the chat*

**Author's Note:**

> Yo so I'm actually really proud of this one for some reason. Tell me what you think!
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments. I love comments!!
> 
> Happy valentines day!!!


End file.
